I don’t know what it is,
But that your primal nature
Seems to meet my so primal desire
You wander like a lonely animal
That is far from home,
Looking damaged and threatened,
With nowhere to go
Sometimes it is as if you know this,
Allowing the fear and uncertainty
To embrace every fibre of your being
Except you have me
So when you feel alone and
That you don’t belong,
Look to me because I’ll be holding on,
Making sure to never let go
We exchanged stories
in the heat of the sunshine,
allowing our memories to unfold
and rewind time.
The past we shared never gets old
like an ancient myth forever told
How we braced every moment with its each component;
our youthful nature always gave us away
– even when we had nothing to say.
And how neatly it all fell into place!
Even still our friendship is strong enough
to withstand Time’s race.
But Time has changed us through and through;
now when I look into your eyes I see a less innocent you…
The world may have made its mark
but I still see that old spark of years gone by.
Why oh why did you
Have to sink your claws
Into me and toss my heart
Into the open ocean?
For now I am drowning
In this loveless devotion.
Sail away, sail away
Back to your distant shore;
I no longer want to be anchored,
Or tied down to this wretched moor.
It is time that this ringed clasp,
Which has now become so remote
Harked back to its owner
With whom my heart tragically broke.
October 2011
I hope it slowly starts to sink in
Let my presence seep in like raindrops on your skin
My love for you is growing anew and I’m slowly becoming attached to you
You’re on my mind all the time…
What have you done to make me so
Enthralled by you?
Yet I’ve been in this place many a time,
This love is a rhyme I know all too well
Somehow I fall in too easily
And the walls cave in around me
I’m stuck with nowhere to go,
Nobody to turn to and nowhere to call home
Still your face is a comforting sight
And I will kill to see a smile on your face…
For it brings me to that place where
I always want to go
If I find no shelter, at least there is something
In you that I can call home
You fill a little place in my heart that
I will cherish forever…
I hope you never leave it ever.
Let us revert back
To how we used to be;
A time where I was young,
Innocent and carefree
For now there just seems
Too much trouble in the air;
The forecast is reflected
In the weight of my stare
Who ever knew that our
Love would come crashing
Down to the ground?
We were so blissful
And contented; in truth
We were spellbound
And yet it seems there are
Still more rainy days to come
Since Misery tapped on my door
And blotted out the sun
She took away my angel,
My lover, my bride…
Some days I question
Whether or not I will survive
For she was my world
And seized onto my heart with such a grasp;
We never even thought to question
Whether our love would last.
I am still ill at ease and confounded when I realise that you’re gone
If only I could lessen the gap on the things that separate;
Our cultures and geographies are dissimilar –
There is not much upon which we can relate.
Yet I do not fear, for I know that love alone will draw us near
It is the only thing, of which I have ever been certain,
The only thing on which I can rely,
When love finally decides to close the curtain,
That will be the day I die.
If you say I am losing my way,
Then why have I fallen
Into the arms of a nurturing lover
Begging me to stay?
She welcomed me
Unconditionally from the start;
Without realising it
She gave me the contents
Of her heart
But the path I have walked on
No longer understands me;
It does not recognise
The person I have become
And so I must move on,
Whilst I bleed for the things
They don’t understand
My very fibres groan
Of this speechless agony;
The cards have been dealt
And it’s time to play the hand
I will not part with sorrow,
Though this does not mean I am hollow,
Only that I’ve come to realise that
I no longer belong here.
My heart lies elsewhere,
With some glorious beauty
And her heavy stare,
Not in this place I have come to know.
For I am far from home
And no longer want to live
Like a foreigner;
It was once exciting, but now
I have lost all reason and understanding
And just wish to return to the land
I have come from.
The only logic that remains is not the
Coarse kind that lies in the brain,
But one that understands love alone.
That is where I wish to be.
This kind of love will set you free.
I want to walk on the walls without a care;
Eradicate all knowledge of ever being here.
When holding on is harder than letting go,
By then it is time that the truth must show.
Instead I let my heart speak too soon
In letting it dictate the rules, obliviously
I chained myself to you.
But enough, no more!
This chorus has been sung too long.
I’m waiting for you to pack your things
And be gone
Far, far away where there is no-one
To hear your desperate plea for help
Or to catch your tear.
In darkness may you remain for days on end,
Until you wake up and realise that this
Love was not pretend.
But by then I will have forgotten entirely;
The way I loved you, the way you inspired me.
I want to wake up and for this all to have been a dream.
Lying in my bed motionless, I remember what we shared
And how I fought so hard to salvage it.
Now you have become invisible to me
Like the air that I breathe.
I can no longer see your face
Except within my memories.
The chorus I tried to sing in all its bittersweet melody,
Until I realised you were no longer mine to win.
You gave up on me before I even realised,
But said not a word.
Why were you so afraid for the truth to be heard?
Instead you left it up to me to make the final call.
So I cut all ties and removed you from my life.
What did you expect after all you had put me through?
Now all that remains is silence in place of
A kiss goodbye and a deserved thank you..
Did I really mean so little to you not to fight for me in return?
Instead you just left me to crash and burn.
My heart is broken and I have nothing more to say.
Catherine Lucy Rowland 