Posted on by catherinelucyrowland

Without Your Touch

Without your touch I feel restless.

The night draws in and numbs the senses

 

as I watch your slumberous body

breathing not a sigh

and I lie awake

trying to pass the time.

 

How did it come to sleeping

on separate sides of the bed?

 

All I want to do is kiss you

and taste the passion

when all we do is lie here

in a disciplined fashion

 

But the desires just will not be relieved;

you may sleep in peace and contentment,

but all the while they torture me.

 

I cannot thrust them upon you

although I may try.

But feeling so far away from you

only makes  me cry.

 

And so I make myself the lonely guest;

with neither sleep nor company

I kid myself into thinking

I know what’s best.

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Who Would Have Thought?

Who would have thought this

Was going to get worse?

And yet I suffer silently

In my dreaming

 

Your bittersweet presence

Appears before me as clear as day

I ask you what went wrong and

Why you had nothing to say

 

Even fighting through my tears

I beg for reconciliation

And then your loving touch

Floats over me;

That warm appreciation.

 

I cuddle you back, even more

Readily than before

This distance that has crept

Between us makes me

Love you all the more.

 

And yet I know that you being

Here is nothing but a vision…

I wake to the morning light

Feeling that something

Is missing.

 

This loss of you has left me

Traumatised; nothing more

Nothing less.

Even to the extent where

The motivation to live has

Left me and the desire to dream

Is best.

 

I long to crawl back into this

Sphere of subconsciousness,

Return to the womb.

I’m not ready for this

Heartbreak; it is all happening too soon.

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Victim Of A Love Theft

How could you think

I’d not take this to heart?

If you could see me now

You’d see I’m falling apart

 

And yet the wind still blows

Over the heart where

You made your home;

But now it’s time for you

To pack up your things and go

 

For too long I have resided

In this hopeless fear

Of losing the love

I have always wanted near

 

But it seems that she

Lost herself first and left;

Without even knowing

Our love became a victim of theft

 

To what cause or power

I cannot conceive;

My mind always struggles,

But in my heart I have always believed

 

That love will always overcome

The battle that we enter

When we find the right one

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Touching You

Touching you is like sunshine and smiles

It gives me bliss even if just for a while

I feel like I’m falling and will never recover

Straight into the arms of an oblivious lover

 

My eyes are closed but I can still see

The ruby brown eyes staring back at me

Questioning all motives, asking to be free

 

You look for the answers but they are hidden within

Underneath the pearly shine of your youthful skin

Don’t deny yourself of Knowledge standing at your door

She stands there knocking, urging you to seek more

 

Whilst I lay trying to sleep in your bed

Second-guessing all the things running through your head

I cannot unlock your heart if you give me no part to play

Love goes unrequited if there is no invitation to stay

 

 

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This Is The path

This is the path I have been given

This is the chorus meant for singing

 

Nobody figures out their own fate;

we only hope we can carve out a way

to Heaven’s gate.

 

For the path we walk is a crumbled mess,

trodden on hopelessly by the rest.

 

If this life is just singular and mortal,

then we have lied to ourselves

in thinking there were many portals.

 

But there can only be one way

to the wretched grave;

it is how we choose to spend it

that gives us our name.

 

If we choose it wisely,

why should we fear to die?

 

The old learn to embrace

Death’s precipice daily;

breathing out life

is nothing more than a sigh.

 

In the end it is all a matter of time;

there are no lessons in learning how to die.

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The Dream

Last night as I slept,

A dark stranger entered my mind,

A vision so strong I believed

It had been brought to life:

 

Her presence swimming from the river

To the bank; her movements so graceful

My heart almost sank

 

Before I could whisper a word,

Her hands started gliding up my legs;

“I hope I’ll be able to do something

To get your forgiveness,” she said

 

My heart wept violently,

Like a little child inside of me

I could do no more than to put my

Hands in front of me upon what I saw

 

So I stroked her hair gently,

Feeling as if some great

Benefactor had sent me

As her saviour,

Urging me to forgive her

 

How could I ever act in hate,

Wearing the mask that perpetrates?

How could I ever lose myself in anger,

Using my words to strangle her?

 

I could not achieve such a feat,

Not whilst she was crying desperately at my feet

 

So I rubbed my hands into the smoothness

Of her back, to reassure her

That my love for her does not lack,

 

Until all of a sudden I woke and found

That her presence had deserted me

 

When I tried to recall the dark stranger

In my mind I experienced revelation anew:

 

The dark stranger – it was you.

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Seeking Intimacy

You and I both know we could

Have stolen a kiss tonight…

But it wasn’t to be

 

My heart sighs with all these goodbyes

The absence is real and it

Hurts inside

 

Yet I must endeavour

To carry on

I desire to be more intimate

And yet, somehow, it seems wrong

 

It is never the right time,

Nor the right place.

Never the right reason,

Never the right face.

 

And so intimacy is wasted

On those who least know it,

Whilst the lonely ones lie despairingly,

Aching to show it.

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Rushing Sorrow And Sadness

I have never been in this place before:

With nothing to look back or forward to

The eyes that were once dry are now filled with weeping…

How can I let go of the sorrow and pain I’ve been keeping?

 

My tears are wet and salty

I can only hope they are washing out whatever was inside

Will you dry my eyes?

 

My face is wet from the tears that came streaming

And somehow I knew it was coming.

All the emotions came flooding in and took hold of me

 

I could do nothing to stop them from rushing out.

It all just came rushing out.

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Loveless Devotion

Why oh why did you

Have to sink your claws

Into me and toss my heart

Into the open ocean?

For now I am drowning

In this loveless devotion.

 

Sail away, sail away

Back to your distant shore;

I no longer want to be anchored,

Or tied down to this wretched moor.

 

It is time that this ringed clasp,

Which has now become so remote

Harked back to its owner

With whom my heart tragically broke.

 

October 2011

Posted on by catherinelucyrowland

Love That Penetrates Like The Rain

I hope it slowly starts to sink in

Let my presence seep in like raindrops on your skin

My love for you is growing anew and I’m slowly becoming attached to you

 

You’re on my mind all the time…

What have you done to make me so

Enthralled by you?

 

Yet I’ve been in this place many a time,

This love is a rhyme I know all too well

Somehow I fall in too easily

And the walls cave in around me

I’m stuck with nowhere to go,

Nobody to turn to and nowhere to call home

 

Still your face is a comforting sight

And I will kill to see a smile on your face…

For it brings me to that place where

I always want to go

 

If I find no shelter, at least there is something

In you that I can call home

You fill a little place in my heart that

I will cherish forever…

I hope you never leave it ever.