Posted on by catherinelucyrowland

I Will Not Part With Sorrow


I will not part with sorrow,

Though this does not mean I am hollow,

Only that I’ve come to realise that

I no longer belong here.

My heart lies elsewhere,

With some glorious beauty

And her heavy stare,

Not in this place I have come to know.

For I am far from home

And no longer want to live

Like a foreigner;

It was once exciting, but now

I have lost all reason and understanding

And just wish to return to the land

I have come from.

The only logic that remains is not the

Coarse kind that lies in the brain,

But one that understands love alone.

That is where I wish to be.

This kind of love will set you free.

Posted on by catherinelucyrowland

Walk On The Walls

I want to walk on the walls without a care;

Eradicate all knowledge of ever being here.

When holding on is harder than letting go,

By then it is time that the truth must show.

 

Instead I let my heart speak too soon

In letting it dictate the rules, obliviously

I chained myself to you.

 

But enough, no more!

This chorus has been sung too long.

I’m waiting for you to pack your things

And be gone

 

Far, far away where there is no-one

To hear your desperate plea for help

Or to catch your tear.

 

In darkness may you remain for days on end,

Until you wake up and realise that this

Love was not pretend.

 

But by then I will have forgotten entirely;

The way I loved you, the way you inspired me.

Posted on by catherinelucyrowland

I Want To Wake Up

I want to wake up and for this all to have been a dream.

Lying in my bed motionless, I remember what we shared

And how I fought so hard to salvage it.

 

Now you have become invisible to me

Like the air that I breathe.

I can no longer see your face

Except within my memories.

 

The chorus I tried to sing in all its bittersweet melody,

Until I realised you were no longer mine to win.

 

You gave up on me before I even realised,

But said not a word.

 

Why were you so afraid for the truth to be heard?

 

Instead you left it up to me to make the final call.

So I cut all ties and removed you from my life.

What did you expect after all you had put me through?

 

Now all that remains is silence in place of

A kiss goodbye and a deserved thank you..

Did I really mean so little to you not to fight for me in return?

Instead you just left me to crash and burn.

 

My heart is broken and I have nothing more to say.

Posted on by catherinelucyrowland

Loveless

I have become so loveless since you left me

I gaze at the heart I poured out so lovingly

And now is empty.

It is the visage of who I am;

Vices I sought to fix it and yet nothing can

 

And yet I am the one who must suffer

The consequence, whilst you watch me

Torturing, staring from your fence

 

Silence is not an answer, but you will not speak

I gave you everything and more, but Trust was

A door you just would not let me through.

 

And now my dreams flood in hauntingly,

Reminding me of how you changed me

And how I made you so worthy;

More worthy than you ever deserved to be

 

Still I walk these streets believing

I will see your face again.

Until I damn this wishful thinking

And realise it is only a trick of the mind.

 

When in fact, I am lonelier than before:

Had I not met you, I would never have

Put everything on the line; surrendering

My logic and dignity all to make you mine

 

Perhaps then I would not have lost

My innocence, but now you are gone

And I’m struggling to overcome this.

Posted on by catherinelucyrowland

Her Soul Is Gone

Her soul is gone from that house…

She no longer resides there

And so I must forget it and be quick to move on,

Or else leave sad traces lingering of what was left there

 

Her presence has now deserted it,

But I will still hold onto the memories

Of what we shared there

 

Facing up to absence is painful,

But realising that her presence was there

And yet still lives gives me the hope

I need to carry on.

Posted on by catherinelucyrowland

Coming Back

Coming back to London

just doesn’t feel the same

and still this familiar skyline

is haunted with rain

 

And yet I have a head full of memories

from the times spent with my lover;

though she may be absent,

I know I need not another.

 

My heart still beats with

the same conviction as before;

I will carry on triumphantly,

loving you even more.

 

For when you are not there

it is if my soul has been stripped bare

and the sun has stopped shining

in its empty sky.

 

Now I am just a poor lover

robbed of my throne,

whilst the question ‘Why?’

still hums out in drones.

 

Everything is colourless;

even the bird has stopped chiming its song!

Yet another reminder

that this distance is wrong.

 

So let us cut it down at the root,

crushing its sour presence underfoot.

 

No matter where we might be,

we wll overcome this distance;

just you and me.

Posted on by catherinelucyrowland

Broken Lover’s Lair

The pieces that once

Seemed immovable

Have shifted;

Now the root of

My heartache

Has been lifted

 

Up, up and away

Out of all misery and despair

Up, up and away

From this broken lover’s lair

 

Until all of it appeared

As worthless matter…

What are they but bits

Of paper portraying

An old life to scatter?

 

Nothing but remnants

Of a life I chose to follow

Nothing but a love

That has now become so hollow

 

Oh wretched ring

That promised a life of love

In all its abundance and trust

You are meaningless treasure

That has turned to rust

 

What choice did I have

But to discard the jewel

In all its rotting decay?

 

Or was I to look down

Upon it affectionately

On my marriage finger

Where it lay…?

 

Such a thought  can only

Fill me with disdain;

Yes, go ahead and entreat

Suffering… see how it causes you pain!

 

And so my only solution left me

No reason to falter:

Remove all ties and connections

With the love

That found reason to alter

 

October 2011