I poured soft teardrops
into the pillows of your shoulders
Clenched fists
became open palms
As our weary sighs carried us
to the morning’s alarm
Stretching out
I gave you my embrace:
a warmth to conceal
the salty, bitter taste
The taste of tears
that would not be swallowed
The taste of fears
of remaining hollow
Can we share our sadness
and in the sharing,
turn our sorrow into gladness?
Like the rainbow after the rain,
our joy is only complete
By enduring momentary pain
In this world
our mortal chains wear us down
but could the greater heights of heaven
be shared with you now?
For on this earth,
a lovers’ paradise have we made and shared
but in the greater heights of heaven
could a non-believer be spared?
Bound by our coils
we would dance until Death’s delight
but would that final hour
extinguish our love’s last light?
Cast out to paradise alone
I would to God’s mercy entreat
to spare my lover’s unbelieving
that to our maker we both could meet
A single moment;
Captured and framed in time:
Your naked body
Propped against the pillow;
Head tilted with curiosity
To one side
Watching me
Gaze at you
from the doorway
As you captured my nakedness
With a fierce tenderness
That could calculate infinity
I thought then
and I still think now
That
Your lips’ red
was as delicate
and sweet
as roses
turned towards the sun
Oh how I came undone
when they planted soft,
wet kisses on my cheek
to the rhythm of each heartbeat
(The poet never truly sleeps
writing their truth beneath the sheets)
A dream of you
leaves me feeling blue
and waking
alone
again
Aching upon
somewhere to belong
between a lover and a friend
As the time I held
your paper-like, origami shape
in my arms, without fear or qualms
You never questioned
my caress
but drew me closer to you
While the morning silence
undressed
our thoughts at the seams
I cut myself on love
Held its broken shard to the light
And trembled through the night
In a blaze of fever
I tried to relieve her
But my caresses fell upon deaf limbs
and died there
As she returned them one by one
to their loveless owner
And I carried my burning body
Lamb to the slaughter
sleepless and sighing
across a stranger’s bed
I press my lips
over the sacred birthing room
that carved your fleshy form
out of the norm
from the scar tissue that runs deep
is a mother’s love to keep
I close my eyes
cupping my ear to your watery shell
waiting for your story to tell
And imagine you
in utero;
was it waving or drowning?
Before they named you
you cried out, flailing your arms about;
a tiny miracle of movement
comes full circle
And makes the Earth whole again
You were my source of strength,
shield-warrior princess
That came to me in a storm;
You took me into your arms and made me warm
How, through the loss
I struggle on, each day more
Living in phantom memories,
holding half-open that door
wishing and expectant
for it all to be a dream,
that we could mend our broken ways and gather up from the seams
A perfect reflection
built upon honesty and truth,
To sever naivety
and the innocence of youth…
Time ticks;
A fragile and volatile bomb
You count the seconds pass
And wonder where they’ve gone
Meanwhile the distant and burning
Stars of outer space
Explode
Into particles of golden dust
Giving human life their trace
Stretched over a vast landscape
Of cells and membranes
The pain of birth contained you
Curled up in utero
But you broke forth too soon
Pale and premature
Watched by the expectant eyes
Of the hospital room
A small and tangled up
Bloodied ball of flesh
Craved the comfort
of womb and breast
Covering with baby hands
Its own eyes from the light
Sleep-full and yearning
To fight for its life
She enfolded me into the night
Swift and dark
Her dewy skin seeping into my own
With no threshold to part skin from bone
Cloaked in the marrow of her emotion
She became the walls to my cell
Gathering my tears into an ocean
Crying empty echoes
from a shell
Left on a shore of memories
Where summer forlornly departed
And autumn is now abound;
She picked up my heart as if it were
a leaf upon the ground
Girl on her bicycle
with a graceful air
floral and flowing
without a care
through the summer breeze
I stop and stare
and the wheels keep turning
and pass me by
I watch through windows
overtaking and falling behind
waiting to catch
a glimpse of you again
your dress sailor blue
tailored with a bordered hem.
Catherine Lucy Rowland 